????上面提到的答案雖然多種多樣，卻沒有一個和字典中對金錢的定義相一致,；所以,，我們自然而然就會想到下一個問題：這些意義從何而來？根據我的經驗,，對金錢附加的這些意義,，多數來自于童年的經歷。

????孩子了解金錢的渠道有很多,，但與其他心理問題相同，父母在這方面的影響最為重要：父母向孩子傳遞的間接信息對孩子的影響尤為巨大,。眾所周知,，孩子就像海綿一樣，父母每天關于金錢的交流不知不覺之間就會被孩子統(tǒng)統(tǒng)吸收,。每次父母為了獲得打折電影票而謊報孩子的年齡,，或者為了最近購買的商品的價格而與愛人爭論不休，其實都是在向孩子傳遞信息——而這些信息往往與父母有意識要向孩子灌輸的理念截然相反,。

????例如,，父母的哪些行為會使孩子在未來將金錢等同于控制？原因可能是,，父母用零用錢作為獎勵或懲罰孩子行為的工具,；我的一位客戶就表示,，每到周日（這一天，他會得到零用錢）,，他必須特別聽話,，因為，如果他在那天惹媽媽生氣,，零用錢就泡湯了,。那么，將金錢等同于愛又是為何,？最常見的原因是,，父母因為出差離家在外而感到內疚，于是在回家時,，會給孩子帶一大堆禮物,。

????其實，這些行為如果偶然為之,，不見得會有什么問題,。但如果頻繁發(fā)生，孩子在童年的這些經歷就會成為一種堅定的信條,。而由于這些信條都來自于一個孩子的經歷和理解,，因此，它們并不完整,，也不完全正確,，但卻會在孩子心中生根發(fā)芽，決定他們對待金錢和使用金錢的方式,。許多作者將這種信條稱為“金錢迷思”或“金錢牽引線”,，但我更偏愛“金錢劇本”的說法，因為它們就像戲劇的劇本一樣,，決定著我們的一言一行（心理學家布拉德與泰德?克洛茨,，以及理財師里克?卡勒率先提出了這種說法）。

????最常見的一種“金錢劇本”便是“金錢萬惡論”,。有一點需要注意,，這種信條有時確實是正確的，而且支持這種觀念的證據比比皆是,。比如,，在許多離婚訴訟中，金錢都被用于邪惡的目的,；而且,，諸多暴行的實施都打著金錢的幌子。但同時也有相反的證據【比如,，比爾與梅琳達?蓋茨基金會（Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation）】,。然而,，篤信“金錢萬惡論”的人將所有金錢統(tǒng)統(tǒng)視為邪惡，避免一切與金錢有關的事物,。他們認為金錢是骯臟的,，或者視金錢如無物，拒絕公開每月的開支情況,，不會進行資產規(guī)劃,，更不會咨詢理財顧問。

????另外一種較為普遍的“金錢劇本”是“錢越多越好”,。對于一個衣不蔽體,，食不果腹的人來說，有更多的錢,，自然能讓他赤貧的生活有所改善,。但如果我們的收入達到了一定水平，不必再為衣食住行擔憂,，這時,，更多的金錢不見得能讓我們過得更好。實際上,，對于有些人而言,，擁有過多的金錢只會讓事情更糟。這種“金錢劇本”會導致一系列問題,，比如工作狂傾向,，又或者發(fā)財之后的幻滅感。

????第三個重要的“金錢劇本”是“錢永遠不夠”,。這會導致人們恐慌性囤積,，最明顯的表現(xiàn)是，有些人在投資時不愿意承擔適當的風險,，或者喜歡保有現(xiàn)金,。一些富人也存在這樣的觀念，對于他們來說,，金錢只代表無休止的壓力,，而不是滿足感。他們無法明智地使用金錢,，因為動用任何一筆錢都會讓他們感覺危機重重。這種理念也會導致恐慌性拋售,，因為在這類投資者眼中,，只要市場有任何風吹草動，他們的錢就會打水漂,。

????最后一種“金錢劇本”,，或許也是最普遍的一種,，便是“金錢等于自尊”。這類人會將他們的資本凈值等同于他們的自我價值,，因此,，每當道瓊斯指數下跌，他們就會認為自己的自尊受到了打擊,。這種理念會導致人們?yōu)榱俗屪晕腋杏X更加良好而拼命聚斂物質財富,。

????注意，在上面提到的“金錢劇本”的含義,，也并非一成不變,。例如，對于一些人來說,，之前所說的“錢永遠不夠”的觀念往前推進一步就意味著“金錢取之不盡用之不竭”,。我相信，我們之所以會陷入目前的困境,，這種理念便是罪魁禍首,。它使人們相信，房地產的價值會持續(xù)上漲,，或者他們可以繼續(xù)舉債購物,，金錢總會從某個地方奇跡般地冒出來。持有這種理念的人,，在投資時傾向于承擔過多的風險,。

????現(xiàn)在，我們已經了解了各種“金錢劇本”,，接下來應該進行自我剖析,。是什么樣的金錢觀控制著你對它的態(tài)度，這種觀念又給你目前的行為和對危機的情緒反應帶來了什么樣的影響,？

????一旦明了了金錢對于自己的意義,，就能夠更好地面對經濟大潮的漲落，也就能明白,，造成金融壓力的主要根源并非經濟形勢,，而是我們與金錢之間扭曲的關系，以及這種關系對我們應對危機能力造成的影響,。明確自己所持的金錢觀是第一步,，它能讓你調整自己的觀念，更好地適用當前的經濟形勢,，進而也就能更加客觀地對待金錢,。

????總之，只要用之有道,，金錢便可成為利器,。我們不會用錘子來切割木板,，但我們卻經常試圖用金錢來做一些它用途之外的事情。然而,，如果我們在使用金錢時能夠做到合理謹慎,，它確實能夠幫助我們實現(xiàn)目標。如果能夠剝去金錢的種種神秘光環(huán),，消除對它不恰當的理解和情感,，不論是否身處危機，我們都能更明智,、更有目的性地利用它來造福于我們自身,、我們的家人以及整個社會。

????本文作者埃里克?J?達曼博士是一名臨床心理學家和心理分析學家,，在曼哈頓擁有一家私人診所,。此外，他還為對金錢與金融心理學感興趣的個人和機構擔任顧問,。

????譯者：阿龍/汪皓

????But whatever the answers, none of the above-mentioned definitions are the same as the dictionary definition; so the next obvious question is, where do these meanings come from? In my experience, most of these additional associations with money develop during childhood.

????Children learn about money from a variety of sources, but as is the case with many psychological issues, our parents have the greatest impact; specifically, it's the parent's indirect messages that are often the most powerful. As we know, children are sponges, taking in the myriad interactions parents have around money everyday, many of which we don't even pay attention to. Every time we lie about our child's age to get the cheaper movie ticket, or argue with our spouse about the price of a recent purchase, we are sending a message -- often one that's contrary to the conscious message we intend to send.

????What parental behavior, for instance, might lead a child to later equate money with control? Consider the parent who uses an allowance to reward or punish behavior; one of my clients knew he had to behave especially well on Sunday (the day he got his allowance), because if he annoyed his mother on that day she wouldn't give it to him. What about equating money with love? The most common way this gets established is when a parent, perhaps due to guilt over being away from home for business trips, returns home and showers the child with gifts.

????These types of interactions on an occasional basis are not necessarily problematic. But when repeated over time, these early experiences can solidify into firmly-held beliefs. And because they're developed through the eyes of a child, they tend to be incomplete or partially true, but yet they become indelible, controlling the way we interact with and use money. Some authors have called these beliefs "money myths" or "money wiring," but I prefer the term "money scripts," because they control our actions just like a script does in a play (this term was first coined by psychologists Brad and Ted Klotz and financial planner Rick Kahler).

????One of the most common scripts is "money is bad." It's important to note that these beliefs are sometimes true, and it's easy to find evidence to support the notion that money is evil. In many divorce proceedings, for instance, money is used for evil purpose, and an awful lot of violence is perpetrated in the name of money. But there is evidence for its opposite as well (the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation, for example). Someone with the money script "money is bad," however, will see all money as bad, and will therefore avoid things having to do with money. This is the person who sees money as dirty, or who ignores money by not opening their monthly statements, not doing an estate plan, or meeting with a financial advisor.

????Another common money script is "more money will make things better." If one is in abject poverty, and can barely afford food and shelter, there is no question that more money will make things better. But once we have reached a level of income that takes care of the basic necessities of life, more money does not necessarily make things better, and in fact for some people excess money can actually made things worse. This script can lead to problems like workaholism, or the disillusionment many feel once they have "made it" financially.

????A third important script is "There will never be enough money." This leads people to hoard out of fear, and is evident in the person who is not willing to take appropriate risks when investing, or keeps everything in cash. Its also evident in those wealthy people whose money is a source of constant stress rather than fulfillment. They simply cannot use their money wisely, because any use of money feels dangerous. It also leads to panic selling, when dips in the stock market feel like the person's money is being taken away.

????A final common script is perhaps one of the most pervasive, the script of "money equals self esteem." This is the person who equates their net worth with their self-worth, and therefore feels terrible about themselves when the Dow starts falling. This can also lead to the excessive acquisition of material things in order to feel better about oneself.

????One final aspect to notice about many of the money scripts I've discussed is that they can be flipped. For example, the preceding "There will never be enough money," is for some people "There will always be enough money." This script is, I believe, the source of much of the current mess we are in, leading people to believe that real estate values will keep going up, or that they can continue buying things on credit and the money will magically appear from somewhere. These are also the people who take excessive risks when investing.

????Now that you have an understanding of money scripts, try to uncover which are relevant to you. What are the overarching beliefs about money that govern your interactions with it, and how might these be influencing your current behavior and emotional reactions to the crisis?

????Once you have a clearer understanding of what money means to you, you are in a better position to weather the inevitable ups and downs of the economy, and to see that often the main source of financial stress is actually not the economy; it's our distorted relationship with money and how it impacts our ability to deal with the crisis. Awareness of money beliefs is the first step; it will allow you to modify those beliefs to fit the current situation, and thereby deal with money more objectively.

????To conclude, money is an excellent tool, but only when used appropriately. You wouldn't use a hammer to cut a two-by-four, but we often attempt to use money to achieve things for which it wasn't designed. It can, however, help us to achieve our goals if we use it with care and understanding. When you demystify money, and remove the inappropriate meanings and emotion from it, you are in a better position to use it wisely and purposefully for the betterment of yourself, your family, and your community -- in times of crisis and beyond.

????Eric J. Dammann, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst with a private practice in Manhattan. In addition to his clinical practice he is a consultant to individuals and organizations interested in understanding the psychology of money and finance.