????上周五,，對沖基金經理比爾?阿克曼對營養(yǎng)品公司康寶萊（Herbalife）的聲討終于有了點兒收效：它帶來了CNBC財經電視臺幾個月以來（也許是幾年來？甚至是有史以來,？）最有娛樂性的半個小時,。投資人卡爾?伊坎打進電話來，要和阿克曼在康寶萊問題上一辯高下,，兩人的相互奚落就像小學生在斗嘴,。

????比如，伊坎說：“就算你是地球上最后一個人,，我也不會和你一起投資,。”再比如：“在華爾街,，要想交朋友的話就去養(yǎng)條狗,，他就是這句話的典型體現?！焙冒?，但這和康寶萊，甚至和阿克曼有什么關系,？有誰不知道華爾街并不總是溫情脈脈嗎,？它不就該是這樣嗎？

????重點在于我們不該指望對沖基金來扮演警察的角色,。當初阿克曼把這家多層級營養(yǎng)品營銷公司稱為傳銷組織的時候,，他幾乎就像是證券交易委員會（SEC）的志愿執(zhí)法先鋒，而且還表現得幾乎像真的一樣,。

????經過安然（Enron）和萊曼兄弟（Lehman Brothers）引發(fā)的風波之后,，這樣做看似可以接受。但其實不然,。由于伊坎等人開始為康寶萊站腳助威,，阿克曼的做法就不再顯得那么大公無私，而更像是一次常規(guī)投資行動,。這讓他們有機會來了結一樁舊怨,。由于SEC不想給對沖基金當裁判，再說它也應該如此,，所以如果這項調查由SEC親自實施,，它對康寶萊提出指控的可能性就會更高一些。

????因此從某個角度來說,，阿克曼讓SEC的工作變得更加困難,，而不是更為輕松,。如果SEC最后沒有起訴康寶萊，那是否意味著康寶萊就不是傳銷組織呢,？這個問題現在還沒有確切答案,。但這必然會讓康寶萊顯得更加合法。

????無論如何,，這件事給典型的伊坎主義又添上了令人喜聞樂見的一筆,。以下是這位企業(yè)狙擊手近年來說過的話，有些妙趣橫生,，有些則自以為是：

????1）1988年,，德士古（Texaco）首席執(zhí)行官不愿拆分有價值的加拿大子公司并提高分紅水平，伊坎將其行為和希特勒及斯大林相提并論：“很多人為反對暴政而死,。我至少可以對它投反對票,。”

????On Friday, hedge fund manager Bill Ackman's crusade against Herbalife finally produced a dividend: CNBC's most entertaining half hour in months (years?) (ever?). The investor Carl Icahn called in to duke it out with Ackman over Herbalife, slinging the type of put downs you might expect to hear on an elementary school playground.

????Like this one: "I wouldn't invest with you if you were the last guy on earth," said Icahn. And this one: "He's the quintessential example that on Wall Street if you want a friend, get a dog." Yes, but what does that have to do with Herbalife, or even Ackman? And who didn't know Wall Street wasn't all lovey-dovey? Is it supposed to be?

????The big point here is that we shouldn't be relying on hedge funds to do our police work. When Ackman called out the multi-level marketing health supplements company as a pyramid scheme, it almost seemed like he was doing pro-bono work for the Securities and Exchange Commission. And Ackman nearly presented it as such.

????In a post-Enron and post-Lehman Brothers world that might seem acceptable. But it's really not. Now that Icahn and others have come to Herbalife's defense, Ackman's position seems less altruistic, and more like a typical trade. And now a chance to settle an old feud. Because the SEC probably wants to avoid becoming the hedge fund world's referee, and it should, it's now less likely the SEC would bring charges against Herbalife (HLF), than if it had started the investigation on its own.

????So Ackman in a way makes it harder to for the SEC to do its job, rather than the other way around. And if the SEC ends up eventually not bringing charges, does that mean Herbalife is not a pyramid scheme? It's not clear. But it will certainly add more legitimacy to the business.

????Either way, the event brought welcome additions to the collection of classic Icahnisms. Here's are some zingers and self-righteous declarations that the corporate raider has dished out over the years:

????1) Comparing the acts of Hitler and Stalin to the fact that Texaco's CEO didn't want to split off a valuable Canadian subsidiary, or increase it's dividend in 1988: "A lot of people die fighting tyranny. The least I can do is vote against it."