????? 它往往過于正式。因為你必須得預先計劃三明治的內(nèi)容,，確保正確陳述,，整個過程會讓員工感覺很正式，像是在接受評判,。

????? 而且,，這種方法用過幾次后，就會變得不那么真誠,。員工會想：“天啊,，她又在表揚我了。我知道接下來是什么了,，批評,。”

????? 中高級經(jīng)理人員會立即意識到這是三明治批評法,，結(jié)果產(chǎn)生負面效果,。

????我在職業(yè)生涯的早期曾試圖給一位資深雇員一份“三明治批評”，她就像看著一個小孩一樣看著我說：“本,，那些好聽的就省省吧,。直接告訴我，我哪里做錯了,?！碑敃r，我就想,，我絕對不是天生的CEO料,。

關鍵點

????要想精通反饋之道，必須要超越“三明治批評”這類基礎技巧,，形成符合自己個性和價值觀的風格,。以下是實現(xiàn)有效反饋的幾個關鍵點：

????? 真實可信。非常重要的一點是要讓他們相信你的反饋,，不要說一些操縱聽者感受的話,。不能假模假式。

????? 出發(fā)點正確,。給出反饋的目的是因為希望他們成功,，而不是失敗，這一點也很重要,。如果你真的想讓他們成功,，就得讓他們感受到這一點。讓他們感受到你的心,。如果他們能感受到你的心,，感受到你的支持，他們就會聽你的。

????? 對事不對人,。如果想開除某個人,，就直接開除吧。不要讓他/她準備好被開除,。讓他/她準備好取得成功,。如果他/她不聽取反饋,，那就換種對話方式,。

????? 不要在同事面前把一個人當小丑耍。雖然在小組會議上給出某種反饋并無不可,，但絕對要避免讓一個人在同事面前顏面掃地,。否則，你的反饋除了能產(chǎn)生以下兩種效果,，將毫無效果：1) 讓這名員工感到奇恥大辱,；2)讓這名員工對你恨之入骨。

????? 反饋因人而異,。每個人都不同,。有些人對于反饋非常敏感，有些人則臉皮特別厚,，也很遲鈍,。你的語氣應當結(jié)合員工的個性，而不是由著自己的性子,。

????? 直截了當,，但不刻薄。不要兜圈子,。如果你覺得某人的演示很糟糕,，不要說：“這的確不錯，但可以加一個過渡,，強化結(jié)論部分,。”下面的說法聽起來嚴厲,，但效果也許更好：“我沒聽懂,，不知道你要說什么，原因是如何如何,?！比趸答佒械呐u部分，可能會比沒有反饋還要糟搞 ,，因為這可能導致誤解,，讓聽者困惑。但不要狂批他們，也不要顯擺你的地位,。這么做只會適得其反,，因為正確的反饋是對話，而不是獨白,。

反饋是對話,，而非獨白

????沒錯，你可能是CEO,，你可以告訴人們哪些是你不喜歡的,、不認同的，但這并不意味著你一定是對的,。你的員工應當比你更了解他們自己的職責,。他們應當掌握了比你更多的數(shù)據(jù)。你有可能是錯的,。

????因此,，你的目的應當是通過反饋，啟動（而不是終結(jié)）討論,。鼓勵人們挑戰(zhàn)你的判斷,，給出觀點和結(jié)論。從文化上,，你希望圍繞超高標準展開深入探討,。你想通過施加高壓，獲得高質(zhì)量的想法,，但同時也要足夠開明,，以便及時發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的錯誤。

????? It tends to be overly formal. Because you have to preplan and script the sandwich to make it come out correctly, the process can feel formal and judgmental to the employee.

????? After you do it a couple of times, it will lack authenticity. The employee will think: "Oh boy, she's complimenting me again. I know what's coming next, the shit."

????? More senior executives will recognize the shit sandwich immediately and it will have an instant negative effect.

????Early in my career, I attempted to deliver a carefully crafted shit sandwich to a senior employee and she looked at me like I was a little kid and said: "Spare me the compliment, Ben, and just tell me what I did wrong." At that point, I thought that I was definitely not born to be a CEO.

The Keys

????To become elite at giving feedback, you must elevate yourself beyond a basic technique like the shit sandwich. You must develop a style that matches your own personality and values. Here are the keys to being effective:

????? Be authentic. It's extremely important they you believe in the feedback that you give and not say anything to manipulate the recipient's feelings. You can't fake the funk.

????? Come from the right place. It's important that you give people feedback because you want them to succeed and not because you want them to fail. If you really want someone to succeed, then make her feel it. Make her feel you. If she feels you and you are in her corner, then she will listen to you.

????? Don't get personal. If you decide to fire somebody, fire her. Don't prepare her to get fired. Prepare her to succeed. If she doesn't take the feedback, then that's a different conversation.

????? Don't clown people in front of their peers. While it's OK to give certain kinds of feedback in a group setting, you should strive never to embarrass someone in front of their peers. If you do so, then your feedback will have little impact other than to a) cause the employee to be horribly ashamed and b) cause the employee to hate your guts.

????? Feedback is not one size fits all. Everybody is different. Some employees are extremely sensitive to feedback while others have particularly thick skin and often thick skulls. Stylistically, your tone should match the employee's personality not your mood.

????? Be direct, but not mean. Don't be obtuse. If you think somebody's presentation sucks, don't say: "It's really good, but could use one more pass to tighten up the conclusion." While it may seem harsh, it's much better to say: "I couldn't follow it and I didn't understand your point and here are the reasons why." Watered down feedback can be worse than no feedback at all because it's deceptive and confusing to the recipient. But don't beat them up or attempt to show your superiority. Doing so will defeat your purpose because when done properly feedback is dialogue, not a monologue.

Feedback is a dialogue, not a monologue

????You may be the CEO and you may be telling somebody about something that you don't like or disagree with, but that doesn't mean that you're right. Your employee should know more about her function than you. She should have more data than you. You may be wrong.

????As a result, your goal should be for your feedback to open up rather than close down discussion. Encourage people to challenge your judgment and argue the point to conclusion. Culturally, you want super high standards thoroughly discussed. You want to apply tremendous pressure to get the highest quality thinking, yet be open enough to find out when you are wrong.