????如果你的工作日安排包括接連不斷的會(huì)議,，那么你最不想做的事情,，就是在周末安排再安排一個(gè)會(huì)議，對(duì)吧,？

????但是布魯斯?費(fèi)勒說(shuō),，如果這是你和家人召開(kāi)的會(huì)議，結(jié)果卻可能讓你感到驚訝,。他是新書(shū)《幸福家庭的秘訣》（The Secrets of Happy Families）的作者,，這本書(shū)提倡采用商業(yè)領(lǐng)域以研究為基礎(chǔ)的最佳方法，用于管理不同人士（他們恰巧和你有同樣的姓氏）構(gòu)成的另一個(gè)復(fù)雜組織,。

????費(fèi)勒在電話采訪中稱(chēng)：“我認(rèn)為,，過(guò)去一代人的家庭出現(xiàn)了兩個(gè)巨大的變化：首先，女性已經(jīng)進(jìn)入職場(chǎng),，這是個(gè)爭(zhēng)論不休的熱門(mén)話題,，”巧合的是，他在家鄉(xiāng)佐治亞州薩凡納說(shuō)這番話的時(shí)候,，正好待在他童年的臥室里,。“但是另一個(gè)變化也很重要,，卻幾乎從來(lái)沒(méi)有人討論過(guò)：男性進(jìn)入了家庭領(lǐng)域,。無(wú)論從哪方面來(lái)看，他們都比父輩更多地參與到了養(yǎng)育子女的活動(dòng)中,?！?/p>

????他說(shuō)，這些現(xiàn)代的父母精通商業(yè)事務(wù),，“受夠了家庭輔導(dǎo)行業(yè)提出讓人厭倦的相同意見(jiàn)”,。相反，“他們?cè)诒M量發(fā)揮自己作為職場(chǎng)父母的作用,，而他們對(duì)結(jié)果更感興趣”,。談到對(duì)人的管理，他們會(huì)說(shuō),，“明白告訴我該怎么做,。”

????這是過(guò)去幾十年來(lái)各個(gè)組織一直研究的問(wèn)題——他們的預(yù)算遠(yuǎn)遠(yuǎn)高于家庭輔導(dǎo)顧問(wèn)的費(fèi)用,。費(fèi)勒表示,，具有諷刺意味的是，其中最好的理念會(huì)讓職場(chǎng)中大多數(shù)人感到驚訝,。

1. 召開(kāi)員工會(huì)議

????如果廣開(kāi)言路,，你的孩子會(huì)為家庭生活提出新的想法嗎？他們會(huì)告訴你怎樣做最好,、怎樣做不好嗎,？費(fèi)勒指出：“一切都不再是自上而下。企業(yè)不再是自上而下的組織,，政府不再是自上而下的機(jī)構(gòu),。必須讓最好的想法脫穎而出。必須聽(tīng)取父母和子女的想法,，然后進(jìn)行討論,。”大家的目標(biāo)是什么,？“能夠隨時(shí)做出改變,。”

????召開(kāi)簡(jiǎn)短的日常會(huì)議是討論這些問(wèn)題的最好時(shí)機(jī),。的確,，許多企業(yè)員工患上了會(huì)議疲勞癥，但是“在職場(chǎng)中,，你可能每天開(kāi)10次會(huì)議,，而在家庭中，絕對(duì)不會(huì)開(kāi)會(huì)。其實(shí),，20分鐘的會(huì)議可以帶來(lái)巨大的變化”,。

????路易莎?羅杰斯是路易莎羅杰斯通信公司（Louisa Rogers Communications）的老板，她確立了每周三上午7點(diǎn)至8點(diǎn)和丈夫召開(kāi)每周會(huì)議的傳統(tǒng),，他們會(huì)利用這個(gè)指定的時(shí)間來(lái)討論那些通常會(huì)導(dǎo)致抱怨和嘮叨的婚姻問(wèn)題,，包括：財(cái)務(wù)、家務(wù)活,、日程,、假期、待辦事項(xiàng)等等,。她說(shuō)：“如果出現(xiàn)任何破壞感情的問(wèn)題,，我們都會(huì)‘放在一邊’——就像商務(wù)會(huì)議中‘暫停’瀏覽圖標(biāo)頁(yè)面一樣——我們知道需要先單獨(dú)交流感情問(wèn)題,，然后再來(lái)處理業(yè)務(wù)問(wèn)題,。接下來(lái)，我們會(huì)在下周的商務(wù)會(huì)議上重新討論原來(lái)的問(wèn)題,。我們知道,，舉行每周商務(wù)會(huì)議會(huì)釋放我們生活中的很多壓力，我們學(xué)會(huì)了如何區(qū)分戰(zhàn)略問(wèn)題和情感問(wèn)題,?！?/p>

????If your workday schedule includes meeting after meeting, the last thing you want to schedule on your weekend is another get-together with an agenda, right?

????If it's a meeting with your family, you might be surprised by the results, says Bruce Feiler, author of the new book The Secrets of Happy Families, which advocates using research-based best practices from the business world for running another complicated organization of diverse people (who just happen to share your last name).

????"I think that the two big changes in the family in the last generation are, first, that women have gone into the workplace, and that has been discussed endlessly," says Feiler in a telephone interview from -- appropriately enough -- his childhood bedroom, where he was staying while speaking in his hometown of Savannah, Ga. "But the other change is just as significant and is almost never discussed: Men have been flooding into the home space. They're much more involved in parenting by every measure than their fathers were."

????Such modern parents, well-versed in business, "are fed up with the same tired advice from the family improvement industry," he says. Instead, "they are trying to negotiate their own roles as working parents, and they're much more interested in results." When it comes to managing people, they say, "Tell me what works."

????That's a question organizations have been studying -- with much bigger budgets than family counselors have -- for decades. Ironically, some of the best ideas, Feiler suggests, are the ones that inspire the most eye-rolling at work.

1. Start a staff meeting

????Can your children suggest new ideas for family life in a context where they'll be heard? Can they tell you what's working and what isn't? "Nothing is top-down anymore. Business is not top-down anymore, government is not top-down anymore," notes Feiler. "You have to let the best ideas win. You have to take ideas from parents, from children, and then discuss it." The goal? "To be able to change in real time."

????A short, regular meeting is a perfect occasion for such debates. Yes, many corporate warriors suffer from meeting fatigue, but "in the workplace, you might have 10 meetings in a day, whereas in a family you have absolutely no meetings. One 20-minute meeting can make a massive difference."

????Louisa Rogers, owner of Louisa Rogers Communications, instituted a weekly meeting on Wednesday mornings from 7-8 a.m. with her husband so they'd have a designated time for discussing those marital issues that often lead to complaints and nagging: finances, house stuff, calendar, vacations, to-do items, etc. "If any issue got emotionally sticky, we'd put it aside" -- like the "parking lot" flip chart page during a business meeting -- "knowing we'd need to have a separate conversation first about the emotions before we could deal with the 'business' part. Then we would revisit the original issue at the following week's business meeting. Knowing we'd have this weekly business meeting took a lot of stress out of our lives, and we learned how to separate tactical issues from emotional ones."