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??? 科恩表示,，這種情況反映在職場(chǎng)中就體現(xiàn)為：“粗魯行為不會(huì)招致惡果。如果老板本身就行為粗魯,，或者放任他人的粗魯行為,，人們會(huì)覺得，這種企業(yè)鼓勵(lì)這種行為,。結(jié)果,，每個(gè)人都會(huì)變本加厲，直到有人站出來說,，‘喂,，這么干可不行?！?/p>

????憑借一己之力對(duì)抗粗魯行為可能聽起來有點(diǎn)像唐吉可德般的理想主義,，但是科恩建議，還是不妨試試下面三種策略：

????1. 直截了當(dāng),，同時(shí)不失禮貌,。或許這很難理解，但科恩說：“很多人確實(shí)不知道自己的行為是粗魯?shù)?，或者他們的粗魯讓你感到不舒服,。”因此,，不妨找問題最嚴(yán)重的幾個(gè)人單獨(dú)談?wù)?，“不要用批評(píng)、對(duì)立的方式,。只要告訴他們,，當(dāng)他們用粗魯、充滿敵意的方式和你講話時(shí),，增加了你完成工作的難度,。”談一次可能還不夠,，但慢慢地就會(huì)收到效果,。

????2. 友善待人最聰明。有些人的粗魯舉止讓你難以忍受,，不妨嘗試著多去了解他們一些,，這樣或許會(huì)有幫助?？贫髡f：“找機(jī)會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)他們積極的一面,，比如在午餐或咖啡時(shí)間,。了解是不是有什么東西正在困擾他們，比如家庭問題,?！庇焉凭拖翊拄斠粯樱哂懈腥玖?。他說,，人人往往容易對(duì)不怎么了解的人粗魯相待。因此,，如果把令人反感的同事變成朋友,，可能有助于改善氛圍。值得一試,。

????3. 看看是否有正式的培訓(xùn)或指導(dǎo),。科恩表示，在很多大公司里,，所謂的團(tuán)隊(duì)建設(shè)培訓(xùn)往往就是訓(xùn)練常規(guī)禮儀的委婉語,。“它被稱為合作培訓(xùn),。一開始,，讓每個(gè)人都有機(jī)會(huì)談?wù)劊裁匆蛩貢?huì)影響團(tuán)隊(duì)的表現(xiàn)”——包括普遍存在的不尊重人和粗魯舉止,?！叭缓螅蓤F(tuán)隊(duì)共同起草一些基本規(guī)則,，白紙黑字,，不是管理層或人力資源部門一手包辦，而是所有人的共識(shí),，”他說,。“這樣,，它就會(huì)形成一種自我監(jiān)控,。”

????如果你打算向人力資源部門（當(dāng)然還有你的老板）提出這項(xiàng)建議,，科恩表示,，“不妨這樣說，‘我認(rèn)為,，如果能進(jìn)行一些合作培訓(xùn),，我們的績(jī)效將能大大提高’，他們的反應(yīng)會(huì)遠(yuǎn)比你說‘希望同事不要再那么討厭’更為熱烈,?！?/p>

????如果這些都不能奏效,，你還有最后兩個(gè)選擇：要么學(xué)會(huì)忽略那里的粗魯文化，自覺不要陷入其中,；要么想辦法擺脫這個(gè)環(huán)境，換到其他部門或者另找一份工作（這可能比你想象的要容易,，而且非常值得）,。祝你好運(yùn)。

????反饋：你在職場(chǎng)中遭遇過粗魯?shù)膶?duì)待和無禮的行為嗎,？如果有過這樣的經(jīng)歷,，你是怎么應(yīng)對(duì)的？請(qǐng)?jiān)谙旅媪粞浴?/p>

????譯者：老榆木

????How this plays out in a business environment, Cohen says, is that "there are no adverse consequences for being nasty. If your boss is rude, or tolerates rudeness from others, you will feel it is the way to get ahead. And everyone will just keep it up until someone takes a stand and says, 'Hey, this is just not acceptable.'"

????Launching a one-man crusade against incivility may seem quixotic, but Cohen suggests these three tactics:

????1. Be direct (and polite). Hard as it may be to fathom, "many people are truly not aware that they are being rude, or that their rudeness makes you uncomfortable," Cohen says. So consider taking the worst offenders aside, one by one, and "in a non-accusing, non-confrontational way, just tell them that, when they speak to you or to each other in a rude, hostile way, it makes it harder for you to get your work done." You may have to have this conversation more than once, but eventually it might sink in.

????2. Befriend the most belligerent. It may help to find out more about the people whose rudeness grates on you the most, Cohen says: "Discover their positive side, maybe over lunch or coffee. Understand if something is bothering them, maybe trouble at home." Being nice, like being nasty, is often contagious. It's easier to be rude to someone you don't know very well, he adds, so turning obnoxious coworkers into buddies may help civilize the atmosphere. It's worth a try.

????3. Find out if formal training or coaching is available. In many large companies, so-called team-building training is often a euphemism for coaching in common courtesy, Cohen notes. "It's called collaboration training. Very early in the process, everyone gets a chance to speak up about what is getting in the way of the team's performance" -- including pervasive disrespect and meanness. "The group then draws up a list of ground rules in writing, not dictated by management or HR, which everyone agrees to," he says. "It becomes self-monitoring."

????If you're going to approach human resources (and of course your boss) to propose this, Cohen adds, "frame it as, 'I think we could perform a lot better as a team if we had some collaboration training.' You'll get a much warmer reception than if you spell out that you're hoping to make your colleagues less nasty."

????If all else fails, you have two choices: Learn to ignore the crass culture there, and make a conscious effort not to let it drag you down; or else find some way to get out, either by moving somewhere else in the company or finding a job elsewhere (which may be easier than you think, and well worth the effort). Good luck.

????Talkback: Has rudeness and disrespect increased where you work? If so, how do you respond to it? Leave a comment below.