????But before you start inviting colleagues to lunch, dinner, and happy hour, take a moment to understand the importance of context. Look at how people in your organization create and deepen friendships.
????"Feeling like you're connected to someone else makes a difference, it's the root of happiness," says George Bradt, a consultant and author of The New Leader's 100 Day Action Plan. Still, "if you go into an organization and start inviting people to lunch in a place where people don't do lunch, you're in trouble."
????For instance, a manager at a large Swiss bank moved to the company'sAustraliaoffice and wanted to make a good impact by inviting everyone to a dinner meeting at 7 or 8 p.m. The team actually refused, saying, "We're done by 5." "That leader had to completely change his leadership style," Achor recalls.
????"In some organizations, inviting your direct reports out for drinks after the workday is a good thing," Bradt agrees. "In others it's an insult because you're making them drink and taking them away from their family. You have to take them out for coffee in the morning or lunch."
????You can learn about an organization's culture by asking questions about how people interact, but you must also observe whether the answers to those questions are accurate, he says. Over time, a determined leader can shift the culture to being more socially supportive overall.
????When in doubt, you can always begin by offering professional support to colleagues. "As soon as you start asking people to meet up with you or helping people with their work, you change the social script," Achor says.
????Women in male-dominated industries are particularly at risk of being socially isolated at work, notes Michelle Friedman, a professional development coach based in theNew York Cityarea. "The ones who feel isolated ... suffer in terms of engagement and productivity," Friedman says.
????Some mothers, for instance, resist talking about their kids at work for fear of being typecast or discounted, which keeps them from truly connecting with co-workers.
????"Workplace bonds generally form around things that people have in common. It can be working on a project together or if you're on a case or deal together," she says. "The deeper bonds I've seen are where you feel the bond is with the whole person; it's not just on the professional level."
